Counseling Works, PLLC
A Counseling Experience for Women

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Authored by Counseling Works, PLLC Staff

 

Overcoming Millennial Mom Guilt with CBT

Millennial women are a very unique grouping of women. A large sum of this group can be defined as high achieving, highly successful and in many cases very motivated and independent thinkers; a new-age version of SUPERWOMAN. Your life thus far has been categorized by working hard and seeing increasing amounts of personal growth and career satisfaction. But what does superwoman do when she's now a mom who is attempting to maintain her "cape" status and raise a family as well. This high career status you've spent years growing into can come at a high price of family involvement or even basic availability. 

Many millennial women are currently positioned to juggle varying responsibilities at home and at work. You have new or small children who require much attention and support. So, what is a mom to do when her highly sought after corporate executive status calls for her to work extended hours more often than not? Or when a day's work turns into a night of exhaustion? The fact of the matter is, these scenarios translate in to prime opportunities for "mom guilt." Those moments when you begin to feel bad or guilty about what you're NOT able to do with or for your children or family. "I'm supposed to be reading to my child nightly, teaching them a foreign language and preparing them for Harvard IQ status!" 

(Let me start by saying this to my fellow millennial women, it's ok to acknowledge when you have done something that resulted in a less than perfect outcome! That's what your family life and children are here to teach you.)

But, let's look at this for a moment from a cognitive behavioral therapy perspective. Women who are experiencing this mom guilt, usually have developed negative thoughts, beliefs or attitudes about their situations, leaving them with an overwhelming sense of guilt, shame and even hopelessness about parenting. So how can you address these times when you feel like a less than perfect mother or like you're on the path toward "bad mom" status?

By working with a therapist you can begin to evaluate these negative perspectives in a private and objective way. Your collaborative work will help you to reframe these negative thought patterns into more positive, realistic and effective ones that can translate into better ways of coping as a mother. Loving your career and working hard does not have to indicate that you cannot be a great mom as well. It's how you begin to personally define "good mothering" that will make the difference for you and your family. 

~ Authored by V. Works